December 27 2008

Australia. Wow. If I were to have a conversation about Australia to someone back home it wouldn't last that long. I love the place! Don't get me wrong. But it's like someone from Scotland Moving to England.. or someone from Canada moving to the USA or some shit like that. It's not that different but it's different a little bit.
I just want the big bang. Now. I wanna move to the U.k nowwwwwwww. Today. Australia's great! But fucking come one everytime I meet an Australian it's like hi what can I learn and experience from you neighbour. Oh yeah that's right our a 3 hour plane ride away. Thankyou, let's meet again. I know someone that's moving to Poland in February and that's what I'm talking about.. POLAND. I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THAT PLACE EXCEPT THAT IT STARTS WITH A P. I have family in this country. It's like. Come on. I'm not fully away. I'm only here because it's not New Zealand or Auckwardland for that matter, it is better, but I just wanna fucking go all out. Honestly. Australia. Ok cool good on you Australia. Worst fucking sense of humour in the world. So fucking commercial especially when it comes to music.

Australia has nothing to show for it's movies so they make up for it by making a 'breakthrough' movie called.. wait for it.. AUSTRALIA. Oh my god, it's like, they couldn't; find anything good enough so they went with plan Z and thrashed it. I'm not fazed to see it.

I do appreciate this place. I love being here. And even though I wanna be here for like another year because I haven't accomplished what I want to in Melbourne yet and I'm looking forward to it like fuck, in saying that if everything was my way right now I'd be in STA travel tomorrow walking out with an itinerary for some crazy world hop through the EU then America in a car before settling down in a sweet England town. That isn't London.

But I can't wait for that day. I just wanna go all out. No one at home is worried or like wowed out by much because I'm only in Australia. For fucks sake Australia and NZ are too damn related. I need to fuck off. Honestly. There's a whole shelf of Lonely Planet books here and they are on all the crazy places (mind you theres' over 12 Australian ones, get the fuck over it, it just makes this country look far too backpacker orientated which puts me off AND other travelers in experience) and I'm always looking through them then when I finally shut it and put it back on the shelf I say in my head (well actually, it comes out with no control) WHY THE FUCK AREN'T I THERE?!?!?!?!?????!!

I don't want to have a mind set of 'Ohh theres plenty of time, oh it'll always be there, oh, let's be unmotivated fuckwits that roam around the same 5 streets for the next twenty years and then have a big fat regret because you 'accidentally' forgot to see this amazing world that is yearning for you to visit it and vice versa'

There's no fucking time to lose!! I want to get out of this hemisphere. I want to show people back home that I'm not fucking joking around.

I hate it when my dad says come back, or when are you coming back, or when my mum says, I feel sorry for River sometimes, I don't want you to miss his childhood' (my brother, 10)

Ok, I'll come back mum, to Whangarei. The most banging city in all of New Zealand, I'll get a job (HAHA!), save up, (for what, I have no idea) and I'll be that sister like the ones in the movies, while we get back to our old routine, the one where you yell at me for not getting out of the house enough, or not doing the dishes, or not spending enough time with River (oh right) that just sounds so appealing I think I'll just give the fuck up and move back. Because coming here was one big fat joke.

Seriously. I just wanna show them all that I am a rare species in this family, and I need to show it. I need to show them that I'm not gonna become the same. I can definitely see a bright spark in all us kids of the family and were going to be like the team America of the Evans-Freke gang. I wanna see fucking Turkey, I want to meet my fucking family on my dads side! Isn't it about time??

Why shouldn't I go? I don't understand why people don't realize we live in a world filled with things that are somewhat vital for the human soul, and it's all waiting to be seen by all these fuckers that ignore it. It's total ignorance. Were all running around in tiny circles wondering why our lives are so boring, why? Because we keep running into the same tiny fucking thing we ran over last time while were ignoring this massive world it's like, we wonder. It's like were so stupid. I've learnt so so so so much this year that I have learnt more than all the schooling I can remember. I don't' use anything they tried to teach me in school nowadays.

I've met people from the other side of the world, and I've befriended people that I think what the fuck or where the fuck would I have been or been doing if I didn't meet you? You amazing beautiful creature!!! I could never be more thankful for all the fuckups and weird decisions and scraping by, to have that in return. It's just so worth it.

And this ain't no little holiday to Ozzy. It's just where I'm meant to be while I get myself prepared for the next part. Which will be insane!!