This is the first ever Christmas of my life that I won't be around anyone I love. I've been crying so much because I want to go home and be with my family. Christmas Eve is one of those real relaxing nice days you have preparing for Christmas and packing the car or making food and wrapping presents and it's not normal for me. I know that there's gonna be lots of Christmas's like this one but the way everythings turned out has pretty much broken my heart.
Simon was going to spend it with me, yay! Someone I know and love so I can have a nice day but then he left early this morning to get the train to Sydney to be with Ash and the girls without telling me. He just left before I woke up. And I was trying to tell myself he's just gone to the supermarket or he's just doing this he's in the shower and I kept trying to phone him and he wouldn't answer and I was crying and I couldn't believe it then he sent me this:
I told myself last night that if I could get up in time for the train I would go. I'm really sorry. I had a really amazing time last night. I'll call you later. Love u
I just want to be with my family. I just want to go home. I'm sick of trying. I'm over it. My last chance this year and it just fucks me over like the rest. I wann go home so bad. I wanna go today. I wanna just go home and forget every little thing that happened in this country. That's all I want for Christmas.
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