Alice. December 14th 2008

I can't comprehend how happy I'd be if my best friend from back home was here.
It's like, I want to go out on the street and apply for jobs, but in order to do that, I need to print out my CV, but I can't because the printer here has no paper, and anyway, I need to give the girl that owns the computer and printer $5 because she asked me to before I use it and don't have $5 and I owe this guy here $5 anyway and he keeps asking me about it and it makes it ten times more awkward for me to just walk around and make myself a cup of tea.
So I said to him, 'I'll have it by tonight because my friend is coming over and he won't mind lending it to me'
Which was Simon, he never came last night, because he worked to late. He told me like 10 times he'd ring me when he finished but he didn't. I woke up crying this morning because he didn't ring, and I was excited all day long for his appearance but he didn't come.
It's Sunday now, I haven't seen him since last Tuesday. I'm starting to freak out. Ash is going to Sydney in a week for 10 days. I haven't heard from Ash either since Tuesday. And I cry alot because I miss them so much. And I don't know anyone here well enough to talk to so I just become succumbed in my own little cage burning like a fire with no outlet at all. So I just go to sleep or get stoned.
Ash used to ring me about 3 times a day - WHILE we were in the same hostel. You'd think it'd be the other way round because I'm not in the same hostel as him but he hasn't called me since Wednesday. I've just come to the conclusion he's busy making plans for his trip and having fun with Lexi Ruth and Cheryl.
I don't know man. I'm just so upset at the moment.
I could go to the library to print out my CV but those computers are shit because they don't have a start button which means they don't have any programs which means I can't open my CV because it need Microsoft Word to do that and it DOESN'T HAVE IT.
I don't have a cent to my name to go to an Internet cafe. Having no credit on my phone has made me resort to asking almost everyone in this house if I can use their fucking phone so I can call fucking Simon or fucking Ash because I LOVE THEM and I MISS THEM and I don't think they even know it.
Today is Sunday. Nice and Sunny. It's their day off, it's DEFINITELY my day off. Any plans to hang out? Not that I know of. Maybe their busy doing something involving money like seeing a splendid film or going to the lovely Aquarium or having refreshing beers in the park. In a way, I know the girls like not having me there. They can have Ash and Simon all to their selves.

Me Simon and Ash had this fabulous idea to go fruitpicking, then go to NZ in January. That's just fucked off down the drain, because I'm a useless cunt that can't fucking get money in her life, and now that theres three other girls in the picture - that are soooOOoOOoOO good with heir money, and shove their plans in my face, it's just. Not gonna happen.

They're all going fruitpicking all January 'Ooohh well there's your chance Ruby I hear you say' yeah I thought so too! Haha! But Lexi was telling me that it would be too hard for me, and se doesn't recommend it. Ok cool. Thankyou for trying it out for me, and totally demeaning my chances of even thinking about it. If that was the case. The only case. Why didn't we discuss that before? Why didn;t the guys say anything? Why is it just the girls? I've fucking done fruitpicking before!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111

UGH