Friday, February 27, 2009

27 2 09


You know what? Fucken hell. I fuckin applied for a renewal of my fuckin passport like, 3 weeks ago, and allowed enough time for it to be sent to NZ and allowed the 10 working days to be processed then allowed the time for it to be sent back minus the weekends, I did everything in my eyes perfectly, and booked my flight a week after I estimated it to get here so it felt like there was all the time in the fuckinnnn world. Then one day. Out of blue clear sky, my passport arrived!
I'm joking, I'll rephrase that funnily enough, wouldn't that be nice. My passport arriving would be brilliant. But no.
So anyway, one day out of blue clear sky, I call the NZ Consulate in Sydney just to, y'know, check up see where it's all at in the processing bullshit, and then the womans like 'Oh, well your passport can't be processed at all because the application was written in pencil' and I was like 'Huh? So what was supposed to happen was I just gonna sit here and wait for the never to be seen passport because I wrote it in pencil?' And she was like 'No, the Department of Internal Affairs in Wellington have sent you a letter 2 days ago explaining the situation' And I'm like oh my fucking god.
So I had to go to the fucking internet cafe to print out the billion page application and fill it out again, send it moderate post (Which was 18 fuckin bucks, I don't understand the fuckin post system man. It's like, standard post, fast post, then express fuckin flash million dollar post, it's like, if your gonna post it, just post the fuckin thing. What is standard post? Does it go in a slow plane or something? Then Express is done with jets and delivered by Olympic Champions on bikes that can go at a million kms an hour as opposed to a fat person walking or something for standard post?? I don't get it!!! FUCK YOU!)
yeah anyway, so I sent the new application, which cost me $18, and now I have to postpone my fucking flight so my fuckport can get here in time which will cost me $40, and I obviously have to stay in Melbourne for at least another 7 working days and that's food and rent!

FUCK! IT WAS JUST A PENCIL YOU MINDLESS FUCKS! FUCK YOU! FUCK! IT HAS BASICALLY COST ME FUCKIN $300 EXTRA DOLLARS JUST BECAUSE I WROTE IN PENCIL! AND NOW YOU GAY GUYS ARE GONNA GET THE EXACT SAME INFORMATION AGAIN IN FUCKIN PEN! SCREW YOUR BALLS! GIVE ME MY DAMN PASSPORT!

Yes so that is one half of me, completely mad as hell about the situation. The other half of me is like ooh yay I get to be in Melbourne a little bit longer hehe..!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Counting on one hand. 19.2.09

Love can be hard to put into words so bear with me.



Christine is from a small town called Trelleborg, in Sweden. She tells people shes from Malmo usually because no-one knows where Trelleborg is. Last year, at the backpackers we stayed in for four months, she was pretty renowned for her classic breakfast of.. a boiled egg, raw weet-bix, an orange, avocado, carrot, and then a black coffee, a couple of pieces of dark chocolate and a cigarette straight after. She wants to quit smoking. But she still offers a dollar to passers by and people sitting outside cafes for a cigarette. She eats healthy food all the time so whenever I'm like frying up bacon and she comes in I'm like 'Hi..' I think it's funny when I massage her shoulders and when she is really enjoying it I suddenly stop and say 'THERE'.
She's so blunt in a refreshing way. If there's a joint being passed around, it's usually quite subtle but if it gets passed to her she'll say 'Oh is that weed? Oh no thankyou' and it's hilarious. But when she is stoned, it's so funny. One morning she said 'Oh Ruby I'm so guilty I bought 2 pizza slices after that weed last night'.
She helped me write a letter to a friend once, and I was crying so I couldn't really write so she took over, we never sent it, I didn't read it but we sent it to my email so I could decide if I wanted to send it. When I read it the next morning it basically said everything to that person that I would've said from my heart, and she's never even met the person it was to. The underlying joy of understanding somebody you love is fucking priceless, and she's so there. I love to be around Christine because I feel like she just breaks barriers, and it's so refreshing. If I'm sitting with a bunch of other people having a beer and whatever, she never minds just coming over and getting everyone's attention then saying 'Ruby I made vegetable soup, do you want to try?' and I'm like 'Yeah'.



Andrea is from the same place as Christine, they were travelling together, they've known each other since they were little. She has the softest hands, and such a caring energy about her, whenever she was around, I felt safe. I remember this one time in Sydney we went to this asian kind of shop, and she bought a shitload of all this stuff like lanterns and even a CD that played chinese kindof music like those 20 minute long songs and she fully revamped our room to surprise everyone. She's like a girl of simple pleasures, always interested all kinds of different shit. I feel like I can't write about her and there's something else that I can't put into words, but I somehow find that hardly surprising.
One thing I did love was that, even though she does modelling for a job, she was definitely not a model in her personality. Somedays I'd go with her to her castings and there'd be all these twats chatting away in their high heels and me and her would just sit together and do whatever. She's an excellent model, and does her job pretty well, but she's so so much more than that and that's the person I love.



Ash is from everywhere. He was born in London then moved to Wales as a kid. Then moved to Australia around August last year...
My Ashy likes to say things like "bumblewick" or "horses" or "blood on a cats face" when you'd least expect it and it makes you feel happy at the strangest times. He's the kind of person who doesn't mind being honest with you, and believes in you in a way that makes you feel like a very important friend. He knows his stuff, and I love being around him because he pays attention and always has something useful to say when you wanna talk to him. In my experience anyway. I love how he can read people and I love how blunt he is especially when I'm being a twat he doesn't have any fear to say what;s really on his mind and it's so refreshing. I love Ash so much. I miss him when he's not around. He's really responsible for things he does. He goes to work if he has a job. He's good with his money. But above all of that, HE KNOWS HIS MUSIC. Music music music, he knows EXACTLY what to put on man.
I never really had a taste for electro/dance music before I came to Australia, but I can honestly say, that since meeting Ash I have a love for it. We've had the coolest conversations about his music, and I appreciate it so much. I love it when I'm just with him or spending the day with him because we just talk and talk and he talks sense, he won't just be all sympathetic he says the facts and it's so much better.
One of my favourite days I had with Ash was when I woke up and he was rolling a joint, and by the end of the day we'd had about 16 joints between ourselves.. He knows his stuff, and he knows me. Quite well. And I love smelling his shoulder. Bless his heart.



I love Sams laugh. And his view on things. Sam is one of those people that i met and had an amazing time with and that I want to know forever. Even if he thinks I'm a freak I don't care. He's so wonderful, I still feel overwhelmed at how much energy he used telling me how much he believed in me at a time when I needed it. Sam is sole responsible for pretty much the best New Years I ever had. We hung out alot and it made me feel like a kid again. I looove watching Sam skate, because he's so good and the way he describes the feeling is wicked. Sam has a hot body. And it so in proportion that I love looking at his waist especially when he'd walk around in boxers. What a hottie. Sam loves it when I play "Fuck Forever" on guitar, and wants me to play a gig for him when I get to Guildford. If I play it to him while sitting on the grass, it will still be good though. Tons of booze went down with my Sammy (aka Gummy Bear, though I didn't call him that much but nicknames are special to have for someone I believe) We laughed. We talked. We argued. We had fun. And I can't wait to see him and do it all again.




Simon is from London, and moved to Cambridge when he was 11. The day I met Simon, he was leaving for Japan in 6 days, but he never went because he didn't have enough money. That week he was ringing his uni in England to defer his study because he wanted to stay in Melbourne and work. Simon has made me really happy ever since I have known him, and I think he is one of the most beautifullest people in the whole wide world. He's the most unfake person I know. He knows lots. He doesn't like fruit. He's going to do Fashion Design at University. He has a cool last name - Rose, but he thinks the name Simon is boring. I remember I wrote 'Ruby May' on my food bag at this hostel, and he said 'That's a well good name'. One time he rolled me ciggarette and wrote on it 'Ruby's smoke'. Simon played basketball for 7 years in Cambridge and his team was called 'Cambridge Cats'.
We used to have this game in the old hostel we were in where there would be a long table, and a pot of beer would be at one end, then as you went along there were two pints of beer, then a jug at the end. You would stand in line and take turns at trying to get a ping pong ball into one of them, Simon won the jug at the end twice!
Simon and me slept in a park in Sydney for about 4 nights over January. He said it was one of the lowest points in his life and I feel a bit sad about that. Although we had fun and had a wicked view of Sydney harbour. I loved it.
I love it when Simon plays "Redemption Song" on guitar, and he loves when I play "Fuck forever". I love it when Simon uses the end of his glasses to compress the wedd in the awesome joints he rolls. I call Simon "Lamby" or "Mister Mystical Magic Man" or "Billy Buttons" or "Simons" but mostly Lamby. I don't know if he likes he but I don't think he is too fussed.
Simon has an escapist nature, and he like his space. He reads people really well. He listens, very in depth that sometimes I don't think he's listening, but he definitely is, because he remembers everything you say.
Simon has a deep love and appreciation for Led Zeppelin, and can never play the song Ramble on at any old time. He would rather do it when the time is right because it feels better. I feel like I have something crazy to write right now, but I can't put it into words because I love Simon so much.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Wednesday 18 Feb 09

www.theselby.com

You know when things make you feel like it's a beginning of an era or something?
I love that feeling. All I can say is that I can't wait til BRITAIN and I can't wait to go home and do shit then fuck off again. Yeha

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Valentines day 09

I'm going home on the 7th March and
i can't fuckin wait. Beach.

Friday, February 13, 2009

12 feb 09

I'm pretty much in complete limbo right now. I'm going home. But it's like 8/10 I'm going home. The other 2% is like so itchy in my brain and it's so gay. It's like this little inkling of this little persuasive voice telling me to stay and that going home is giving up and ruining my chances and it's not going to be good for me to go back and blah blah blah, but in reality, I literally cannot stay in Melbourne any longer as it costs me money that I don't have every single night. It's such a horrible feeling. I hate decisions like this.
I can't believe it's actually come to this though, it scares me when I read my old enthusiastic blogs about how I'm gonna work and live in Melbourne and save up and all that motivation and happiness seems to have gone right out the window. It just disappeared. And now I just feel confused all the time and drown my brain in money worry then get stoned til I can't handle it to not think about it. I have failed at Australia and I know it. I hate to know it but I did not do what I wanted here. Not at all. I'm a fucking dreamer.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Sunday 8 Feb

46.4C was yesterdays temperature in Melbourne. I went into the city with Christine and the heat must totally fuck with you or something because I couldn't even think.
The weather combination was so strange, it was really cloudy, with a pink sky, reeeally windy, and fucking hot. It felt like you were walking into a blow dryer all day on high.
We went into the Library, and it felt amazing walking in because it was air conditioned, but te amount of people in there was unbelievable. There were people in there just sitting down to scab air conditioning, and it wore off after a while and started feeling warm again and the lines for the computers went all over the walls so we had no chance and then we walked out and bang there it was the heatwave right in your face.

On the tram to town, I thought there was a bug on my leg because it tickled but it was just sweat dripping down from the back of my knees.

The most busiest shop was Boost Juice.

7-11 Slurpees were a hit yesterday with about 60% of the people I saw with a large one in their hand.

Every single chocolate bar in the shops were melted, me and Christine entertained ourselves for some time just running our fingers along melted chocolate bars.

I actually thought the world was coming to and end. It was like living in a news report.

I'm glad I'm experiencing it all though. But I looove cold weather. It's the best.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Sat 7 Feb 09

I don't eat properly. I wake up at about 11-12 everyday and won't eat for about 3 hors because I'm not hungry then I'll have some orange juice, and then I'll have a drink of strawberry/chocolate milk a bit after that. Then I still aren't hungry for a while after that. Then I go get a Slurpee at 7-11. Then I eat something gay like a sandwich later on. Food just doesn't really compare to anything that goes on in my head at the moment, it's weird, I've totally lost my appetite! My friend Christine says I look kinda pale and I have a cough (still) at the moment and I don't think it has anything to do with smoking as I have about 3 rollies per day at most, I smoke weed more than rollies but my immune system must be gay at the moment because I haven't been eating properly. Food is like, money, and money is like, limited. So I think I just can't really be bothered spending fifty bucks on fuckin. Stuff. All the things I could really do with eg. fish, chicken veges fruit nuts etc is like so fucking expensive it's unreal. I think I'll go to the vic markets today and score some cheap fruit and veg today though. YUM!!!

I'm going home. In about a month. And it's weird. I'm thinking strongly about flying into Christchurch and working my way up to Auckland because the thought of flying straight into Auckland scares me a bit because I don't like the thought of being in Melbourne and Auckland in one day. It's like, I get to the airport, go through Auckland to get home, and I'll be like, I was in Melbourne today. It'll be a little bit of a shock in a way. I don't really like that thought. And anyway my friend Sam went all Alexander Supertramp and hitchiked thru the south island recently and he'll be back in Australia tomorrow (SAM COME TO MELBOURNE MY LOVE!) and he's fully inspired me.
cant be bothered to write anymore bye

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

3 feb 09

In the middle of all the fun, sometimes I wish I never came away from home. And in the middle of all the fun of facebook, deep down I absolutely hate the sight of facebook. It's full of bullshit fucking photos of the same old shit chicks holding their fucking chick sweet drinks in their chick glasses and fucking crap statuses like 'so and so: can't wait til (insert amazing event that probably wont take place here). Anyway I didn't come on here to write about fuckbook. I don't know what I did. I want to write it. But don't want to. Theres some people I wish I never met. It sounds so wrong to say it but it's sad because when they are from the other side of the world it's more scary. If you connect with someone like you do with your best friends back home it's hard. I don't know. I think I'm just coming to terms with the fact that Melbourne days with Simon are over. And everything's gonna change. I just wanna go home for a little while. Sort my life out and talk to people and sit with my cat and my records for a bit. I'm such a fuck. Seriously. Why am I going home? Why can't it just be normal. I feel like if I tell Simon I want to go home he'll think that I'm saying it because I want him to come back from Mildura and I wish me and him were just regular fucking friends like Hi hows it going What are you doing not sarcastic all around because we know each other so fucking well but then that's actually an amazing thing to have with someone so I don't know why I'm not thankful because if it was just normal 'how I want it' then I'd probably want it to be how it is now. It's like this fucking thing that's so annoying and then I write a massive hello message asking how he is and I don't even send it because I feel too embarrassed because he doesn't like facebook and hates long messages and replying to people and I feel like if I write one he'll think I'm just writing it to see if he'll reply and then we'll have to keep on writing to each other because who's gonna stop replying and then I think if a friendship has to be this questionable for me why even have it with that person then I think how can I think that because Simon is so wonderful to me. Everything seems to be contradicting everything and I don't know what to do. I'm such a freak. I just wish.