Last night, no the night before, i was sitting with Neil at reception when this english guy walks in and wants to check into his booked room. We click instantly and within 5 minutes I'm smelling his shoulder because I love the smell of leather, and within 40, were on my balcony smoking weed .. we were talking and talking, it was fun, we talked about heaps of stuff. Laughed, got higher, and one thing he was telling me about was his drug life back home.
Now don't get me wrong, drugs are somewhat personal at the same time as being completely not, but I KNOW when someone is exaggerating. First it was cool, you know, ok, tell me, yeah ok, but then (this was before we lit up) he waws telling me about how he's a bit scared to walk round here because the police dogs might sniff out the cocaine traces on his phone. I was like 'oh' then when we started smoking, he was coughing his lungs out.
Then he went on to tell me about his drug life even more.. incl: $40 per day on weed for himself, doing 'every drug under the sun' yes yes, i asked about heroin, but he says hes only smoked it. Again, don't get me wrong, England is obviously more drug orientated then almost anywhere else, but then tonight he says to Barney..
'How can you smoke Drum?! That stuffs so disgusting!'
tsk tsk tsk.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
May 21st 2008
Australia is Beautiful. I could just stand & look at this and be like. Far out life is so worth it.
I think I did do that. Then I took a photo.
I think I did do that. Then I took a photo.
May 14th 2008
Tday I went for drives ith daniel in my first vehicle in Sydney that wasn't a train a bus or a taxi. There is a big difference. It was fun. 4 guys left here today, and I love them. I will miss them. They were cool. They are having an unplanned road trip up to Cairns, usually where people go after here. I came home and I thought of them and I was like, if I could do that right now. I would. A part of me really wants to get the fuck out of here but Ive gotta face the fact I came here with nothing, unprepared. A part of me loves that, apart of me is like, 'I wish I had a backup savings account or whatever like everyone else so I could spend it all on travel' but I've gotta start from scratch and it kindof scares me a bit if I'm wanting to go to England. How fucking long is it gonna take to save pounds up?!!? i dunnoooooo i just wanna do something
May 4th 2008
Today I got pissed on goon, met this German guy outside, got talking about how every cool car brand is from Germany and how I didn't know, then he wouldn't stop talking about my 'blonde friend Andrea' and I was like, what a fucken lame-o, then we went out, it was lame as hell, so I came home alone, saw the German guy I spoke to earlier, he asked where Andrea was, I didn't know, then he walked out calling me fat, then I came on this computer feeling completely empty.
I wanna go home. And spemd time with my cat. The most un-judgemental being I know, only when it comes to food.
I wanna go home. And spemd time with my cat. The most un-judgemental being I know, only when it comes to food.
May 3rd 2008
Last night I went to the Foo Fighters with Andrea fish face. It was fucking good. I am so glad I got to see them. Although nobody was getting into it, aussie crowds are boringer then homes :(
Today, I didn't go to work.
1. Because I was too tired and didn't even want to think of peeling myself out of bed just to knock on doors and be the Jehovas Witness of TV.
2. Because some indian knob that we work with is a dodgy fuck, who asks me if I'm a good kisser, and says to me, look into my eyes, why don't you have a boyfriend, and tells me I smell nice all the time and on Thursday night started KISSING MY NECK whilst saying I'm dying, oh my god, do you think I'd want to go back?
What the helllll. I'm so getting him fired. Today I will enjoy my weekend, not be anywhere on time, and think big, and go to the supermarket with Andrea. She owes me chocolate.
Today, I didn't go to work.
1. Because I was too tired and didn't even want to think of peeling myself out of bed just to knock on doors and be the Jehovas Witness of TV.
2. Because some indian knob that we work with is a dodgy fuck, who asks me if I'm a good kisser, and says to me, look into my eyes, why don't you have a boyfriend, and tells me I smell nice all the time and on Thursday night started KISSING MY NECK whilst saying I'm dying, oh my god, do you think I'd want to go back?
What the helllll. I'm so getting him fired. Today I will enjoy my weekend, not be anywhere on time, and think big, and go to the supermarket with Andrea. She owes me chocolate.
April 24th 2008
This is relevant.
When you go away, relationships change with people back home - dramtically. Well for me anyway. I can't believe it went from crying my face off the last time I saw my best friend because we knew we wouldn't see each other in ages, to 'Should I get in touch with her?' It's so sompletely saddening for me, to wonder if she's just gonna screw up my letter, or reply. I can't believe I don't know. I can't beleive I've written two different letters, and haven't sent them because 'I haven't gotten round to it' (I am too embarrassed), I can't believe I'm gonna write a letter? Why aren't I ringing? Why? Because she might just hang up, and get my other 'best friend' (whom she lives with) and just go on about me.
This is so fucked up, my heart is crying all the time about it. I don't have best friends. I have been here for two months, and even though I've made amazing friends, I don't have the comfort and resting place in a best friend anymore. I know that if I call I'll just get a stale/closed ended 'conversation'. It's like, I feel so bad, like I feel like they will be thinking 'Fucking selfish tard, leaving here and purposely forgetting about us' but I feel like it's too late to even, get even for that. Because I don't feel that way. But I am way past the now or never stage.
I'm so in between. It's like, I've made these new friends. And my best friends are.. gone. I don't even feel like I have a place in getting back together with them. I hate carrying around this heavy guilt, for nothing, something I haven't done, something that I think someone else is thinking. I hate this.
When you go away, relationships change with people back home - dramtically. Well for me anyway. I can't believe it went from crying my face off the last time I saw my best friend because we knew we wouldn't see each other in ages, to 'Should I get in touch with her?' It's so sompletely saddening for me, to wonder if she's just gonna screw up my letter, or reply. I can't believe I don't know. I can't beleive I've written two different letters, and haven't sent them because 'I haven't gotten round to it' (I am too embarrassed), I can't believe I'm gonna write a letter? Why aren't I ringing? Why? Because she might just hang up, and get my other 'best friend' (whom she lives with) and just go on about me.
This is so fucked up, my heart is crying all the time about it. I don't have best friends. I have been here for two months, and even though I've made amazing friends, I don't have the comfort and resting place in a best friend anymore. I know that if I call I'll just get a stale/closed ended 'conversation'. It's like, I feel so bad, like I feel like they will be thinking 'Fucking selfish tard, leaving here and purposely forgetting about us' but I feel like it's too late to even, get even for that. Because I don't feel that way. But I am way past the now or never stage.
I'm so in between. It's like, I've made these new friends. And my best friends are.. gone. I don't even feel like I have a place in getting back together with them. I hate carrying around this heavy guilt, for nothing, something I haven't done, something that I think someone else is thinking. I hate this.
April 22nd 2008
Me and Christine have started work training for Foxtel door to door sales. As of yesterday. Foxtel is NZ's answer to Sky tv.. It's rad! We get $500 just for 5 days of training which is cool. They pay is good, even though it's only commision based pay, I guess it'll make me set goals, and make me try hard. Which is a skill I could do with mastering, more. I've had a few moments when I'm sitting in the room we're trained in, and I think 'How did I end up sitting here, just when I came over to see Tiger Army?!' Life is so cool like that! I'm so happy I'm making an effort, and doing something new, and getting up early wanting to faint in the morning, then eating a colossal breakfast, then catching two trains to work then learning stuff to get me some experience then saying to Christine 'Yay, it's our day off on friday! 3 day weekend, we can go to loaded on Thursday! Free beer! Woooo!'
And it's only our second day. Haaaaaaaaaaa...Mmmmmmm!
And it's only our second day. Haaaaaaaaaaa...Mmmmmmm!
April 21st 2008
Today I went to Bondi for the first time since 1995. I went alone, at around 7-8pm. I'm so glad my weekly train ticket worked on the buses because the trains aren't going til tomorrow and that saved me like, a billion dollars (yes, don't go thinking everything's cheap here, buses still fuck you over like they do in NZ in Sydney.. except they go through orange lights so I actually like them better) first stop.. Bondi Beach!! I'm a sucker for beaches at night. I love cold sand and no people and black waves and moonlight. It's so beautiful. I took some photos, the waves were pretty wild. One splashed right up my knees and wet my dress! Haha, I love the beach. I was so glad to be at one, I hadn't been to one in ages. Since home, so it was fab.
It was good to have a bit of time alone as well. I left my shoes under this bench that this couple were having mad pashes on, it was a bit awkward grabbing my shoes after but fine. Then I went to see Die! Die! Die! at the beach rd hotel. There were quite a few people, it was another fantastic show. Andrew grabbed me while they played 'throw a fit' and let me sing a bit with him into the mic! Made my day. I felt a bit sad this weekend but, because seeing them every night for 3 days kept reminding me of home, of when I would stay home alone everyday and listen to them in the kitchen. All day long in Titirangi. It was good though, in a way seeing them made me feel slightly stronger. It kind of does that seeing someone from home, away from home.
Andrew said to me on the first night, 'Don't forget who you are Ruby, don't let Sydney change you, keep your mana! Kia Kaha!' - Done and doing... : )
It was good to have a bit of time alone as well. I left my shoes under this bench that this couple were having mad pashes on, it was a bit awkward grabbing my shoes after but fine. Then I went to see Die! Die! Die! at the beach rd hotel. There were quite a few people, it was another fantastic show. Andrew grabbed me while they played 'throw a fit' and let me sing a bit with him into the mic! Made my day. I felt a bit sad this weekend but, because seeing them every night for 3 days kept reminding me of home, of when I would stay home alone everyday and listen to them in the kitchen. All day long in Titirangi. It was good though, in a way seeing them made me feel slightly stronger. It kind of does that seeing someone from home, away from home.
Andrew said to me on the first night, 'Don't forget who you are Ruby, don't let Sydney change you, keep your mana! Kia Kaha!' - Done and doing... : )
April 20th 2008
Tonight, well, before, I went to Oxford Arts Factory for the first time. It's 2.09am, so I went yesterday.. I went to see DDD again. It was spectacular. The venue was fabulous, your surrounded by beautiful artwork! All these stairs, all these colours, Sydney just gets better and better.
April 19th 2008
Tonight, well, before, I went to Manly for the first time. It's 4.45am, so I went yesterday.. I went with Andrea, we went on the ferry, to see Die! Die! Die! at Fisho's! It was fabulous. Interesting, I loved going to the harbour at night, it's so beautiful. I hadn't been to the harbour at night since new year's 1996 when I was 5 with my mum. I remember that, I remember being scared of the firworks on the bridge.. But yeah. The ferry was cool. Reminded me of when I lived on Waiheke Island. It was rocky. Fun. The venue was so weird.. it was like, tacky westie Outrageous Fortune type thing. The kinda place where oldies would go for a beer with their 10 minute ciggarette/perfume smelling girlfriends. It was cool but, this fabulous band The Ripping Dylans opened. They were fab! Me and Andrea r in love. It was good to see the DDD boys, they look very raw looking from all their touring, Andrew was telling me about how they have only had four days off since I saw them last.. DDD doing what they do best.
It was a good night anyway. I felt somewhat at home. Seeing my favourite band, hanging out with them, introducing Andrea, and talking about how not to forget who you are when your away from home. Kia Kaha!
It was a good night anyway. I felt somewhat at home. Seeing my favourite band, hanging out with them, introducing Andrea, and talking about how not to forget who you are when your away from home. Kia Kaha!
April 16th 2008 SYDNEY
I came to Sydney on the 8th of March 08. So far, I have memorized streets in my area, and slightly by name too. Bonus. I have done different things than I would normally do back at home. I only ever smoked weed like 3 times in my life back at home over a course of about 5 months. Since I came here, I have done it 3 nights in a row at times. I haven't bought any, or asked for any, I only ever smoke it if I'm around it, when people 'pass' it to me. I only ever drank the odd Guiness at the RSA at home too, or I'd had a bit of red wine in a mug with my Aunty Buffy. But since I've been here I've been horribly drunk about twice, and I drink about 2-3 times per week. This is very different for me. But I'm not striving to change, I still am who I am. I still wear my day clothes at night, and my night clothes in the day. I still be myself, I still get the same comments from people than I ever did. Which for me is a plus++++!
Staying longterm at a backpackers is better than I could ask for too. I need people around me, and this is like the best way to go about it. Even though I am slightly owing money for my stay, I'm in the manager's good books.. He know's I'm not gonna do a runner like other people have, and he's even offered me some work here too. Which is perfecto. The only sad part about it is when you meet the raddest people, but they only stay a week. Then you add them on facebook.. it's like this cycle. But it's cool. Because At least I have people to visit when I do my big travels one day. And another cool thing is the people that you connect with the most, are staying long term too. It's like this massive flat. And you know everyone, and everyones just relaxed, and non-judgemental, except for like 2, but they leave, and it's all good.
I am completely amazed at how this Sydney escapade worked out. It went from spending $700 for 12 nights on my own room and not knowing anyone here, to spending, or lately 'owing' $20 a night for a sweet dorm room with rad people and free weed and cooking with a new best friend every night. I love.
Staying longterm at a backpackers is better than I could ask for too. I need people around me, and this is like the best way to go about it. Even though I am slightly owing money for my stay, I'm in the manager's good books.. He know's I'm not gonna do a runner like other people have, and he's even offered me some work here too. Which is perfecto. The only sad part about it is when you meet the raddest people, but they only stay a week. Then you add them on facebook.. it's like this cycle. But it's cool. Because At least I have people to visit when I do my big travels one day. And another cool thing is the people that you connect with the most, are staying long term too. It's like this massive flat. And you know everyone, and everyones just relaxed, and non-judgemental, except for like 2, but they leave, and it's all good.
I am completely amazed at how this Sydney escapade worked out. It went from spending $700 for 12 nights on my own room and not knowing anyone here, to spending, or lately 'owing' $20 a night for a sweet dorm room with rad people and free weed and cooking with a new best friend every night. I love.
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