December 11th 2008

Today I got the worst period pain ever. In ages.
There's this cool guy here his names ... okay how embarrassing but, he brought me back a box of Neurofen when he went out. Which was pretty much the best thing ever becasue I feel so much better with that stuff.
I pretty much just bummed around all day, I made this killer CV last night and posted it off to heaps of jobs today. Yeyah.
Theres these two fucking Irish guys here and they are so fucking annoying and all day long they drink and all day long they say'Ruby..' and they think it's so funny and they baby me and their like Ruby do you wanna hug and they don't take me seriously in the slightest. I may be a little different but it just fucks me off sooo bad. Today I was on the computer and they fucking came in with their goon and annoyed me so much. It was like the last straw today, and I'm like please keave me alone and stop annoying me and their just like 'Oh are you okay? Here have a hug' And I walked out of the room nearly in tears today because I'm so sick of it.
Then I went to my room and I actually did cry. Because I feel nobody here even knows me and I miss so fucking much being with my Simon and Ashen every night getting stoned with themand hanging out with them and talking to themand being understood by them and being my self and just being happy. It scares me that the fact I don' have that at the moment is all from my wrong doingand I feel bad about myself cause of it. Last night I borrowed someones phone to get Simon to come over tomorrow night and he said he will do and come tonight, I try ringing him but his phone was flat. So He didn't come over and I was crying becasue I miss him. I feel so good around my frieds and it's hard to see them now.
But I rolled myself a joint and lay on the hammock and listened to Blur in the night and it felt so good. Swaying gently side to side getting stoned listening to wonderful music.
And then I was like, I'm gonna live a life to reach and love and inspire people. I'm a happy girl.